My Middle Name Ain't Grace

My name is Jenn and I am a klutz.

No surprise there, not to me and certainly not to those who know me well (or who have ever had to walk somewhere with me.)

I was reminded of just how big of a klutz I am today while running in the office gym.

First though, a short history of my finer yet klutzier moments:

• Senior year of high school. Two weeks before prom. Candlelight bowl. Date with new guy who I had been crushing on for some time. (Is that a term, crushing on? or am I old? Whatever). Hard to explain without actually standing up and showing you, so pretend I am. Anyway, in a Candlelight bowl you bowl while doing things like holding hands with your partner, hopping on one foot, etc. During the fateful turn, I was on my hands and knees facing the crowd while my date was sitting on my back, facing the bowling lane. Why I did this I still don't know but as his arm came back with the bowling ball I turned my head and SMACK! my forehead made contact with the ball. Yeah, ouch. I was stunned for a minute and thought I was ok until I saw my date's eyes start to bug out. Apparently that was when the golf ball-sized bump started forming on my forehead. I still insisted I was ok. My date realized I wasn't when I started to pass out. Emergency room, they had to call my parents because I wasn't yet 18, ugh it's still humiliating. A couple days later I was in Sister Rose's office at my all-girls' Catholic school with the golf-sized bump and a black eye trying to convince her that my boyfriend didn't punch me. (See the Catholic Church is capable of investigating some things . . . don't get me started.) Makeup erased the incident from prom pictures and the guy, never called me again. Nice. Apologies to friends who already know that story, although some of you don't seem to tire of it . . .
• First date with my husband. College. Walking to dinner from the dorm. Wearing flats with stirrup pants (in my defense, they were in fashion then). Tripped over an imaginary rock and fell flat on my face. No bump but extreme humiliation as I really, really, really liked this guy. Luckily, he called again. :)
• Right before an important work meeting in New York. I trip and fall in front of a Starbucks on Broadway in Manhattan, fall in some yucky stuff, rip my pants and pretty much panic as I am not meeting-presentable. For all of the gory details, you can read the post on my old blog here.

So today. I'm on the treadmill at work, walking fast, warming up. There's a guy running pretty fast two treadmills down from me. I am scrolling through my playlists, trying to find something motivating while I try to multitask and unscrew the water bottle cap. I was walking too fast to multitask, lose my balance for a split second and I zigzag my foot slightly. As I recover I accidentally flick my water bottle cap (hard too!) and it hits the other runner on his earlobe then falls on his treadmill. He either stepped on it or moved to avoid it, I'm not sure, but he came thisclose to taking a spill.

Oops.

Of course I apologized profusely and gave a sheepish look but not sure how much he heard with his headphones on. He gave me a rather disgusted look (can I blame him?) and ran for another 15 minutes before leaving. Sing it with me . . .Awkward!

Oh how I hope he's not in the gym tomorrow.

By the way, that bowling ball bump. Every couple of years it reappears on my forehead for a few days. Yep, even though it happened over twenty years ago. Come to think of it, I'm about due for a visit . . .